When you become a Christian, you become a new kind of person.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. ^{2 Corinthians 5:17}

As a child, I was well-versed in the message of salvation, and in my teens, I publicly declared my faith in Jesus Christ and was “saved.” My father and I were baptized together in a small Texas Southern Baptist church during the same evening service. That was around 1974. The foundation of my education in God’s word, laid so long ago, was instrumental in my preparation, but it wasn’t until I was in my mid-50s, 40 years later, that I felt drawn, led, or driven – however you want to put it – to turn to God. It was then that I experienced a profound change, in many ways dramatic, and finally became a new kind of person.

It was a combination of challenging circumstances that brought me to this point. My father, whom I was very close to, was terminally ill, and we knew his death was imminent. The anxious thought of losing him, a figure of stability and security in my life, along with other life pressures, heightened my primary source of anxiety and stress: a highly demanding job. I felt that my knowledge, experience, and confidence were, at best, the minimum needed to succeed. I worried that I lacked the competency to handle the role, and the workload felt overwhelming.

The pressure to perform was overwhelming, and a crippling fear bloomed inside me. This ongoing sense of failure anxiety affected every aspect of my life. At its worst, I couldn’t perform well at work. Fear would grip me during meetings, causing me to freeze in panic. With a pounding heart, sweaty palms, and an inability to breathe, think, or speak, I had to endure the embarrassment of excusing myself from meetings. The worry that this might cost me my job intensified my stress and anxiety, creating a vicious cycle of fear. It became clear that I couldn’t manage or cope with it on my own; self-reliance no longer carried me through the tough days.

The unexpected benefit of weakness is that God uses it to draw us closer to him. When I realized I had reached the limit of my ability to cope effectively, I turned to God. To the best of my ability, I surrendered my entire life to him, including all my challenges, insecurities, and failures. I placed my job, my role as a father and husband, my attitude, happiness, and future in his hands, and the result was astonishing.

I experienced a shift in attitude, perspective, and priorities as my desire to live in a way that pleases God became my highest priority. The issues and trials in my life continue, but I find that, with God’s help, I can now handle and navigate them effectively. I have learned that this life is a test; I expect to face an abundance of challenges and difficulties as God works to develop and mature my soul and character to be more like Christ. The growing conviction that God is in control, along with my faith that the struggles in this mortal life are insignificant compared to the eternal joy ahead, helps calm my fears and anxieties about the day’s affairs. I have learned to trust in God.

I felt his loving kindness as he comforted us through my father’s passing. I was there when Dad took his last breath, and although the separation was difficult, we found peace throughout it all. I felt his support as he established me at work, far beyond what I thought possible. Through him, I gained competence, worth, and reassurance – not just in the job but in knowing that his plan for me was the best I could hope for. He blessed my marriage with increased understanding, tolerance, and patience, along with a stronger desire to serve. Eighteen years of marriage now, and we have never been closer or more complete together.

Most importantly, I have peace knowing that all things now work for my good, and after my mortal life, I will spend eternity in Heaven. I strive to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, and I have true peace with God. I now understand and experience the often-repeated paradox in the Bible: “Whoever wishes to keep his life will lose it, and whoever will lose his life for my sake will keep it.” I am grateful that God gave me the time to reach this point. My 40 years of wandering in the wilderness had come to an end. 

As I mature in my faith, I see self-serving attitudes fading away, replaced by a resolute desire to please God. This transformation is not instantaneous; it unfolds throughout your life as you pursue God and he works to make you more like Christ in motives, thoughts, and behavior. As you immerse yourself in God’s word and absorb truth from sound teachers and fellow believers, he opens your eyes to understand what is right and proper while convicting you of what is wrong and unacceptable. Actively pursue a relationship with Jesus Christ, and you will experience transformation. Undoubtedly, you will look back in disbelief at what you once sought in the world, how you lived your life, how you treated others, and what you thought was acceptable.